The Story Is Changing

Last week Emma turned nine.  I took some pictures, dropped off a class treat at school, ordered her favorite take-out, and watched her open her gifts.  Last weekend five of her best girlfriends came over and they had a sleepunder that included all of the best sleepover characteristics but ended with the girls all going home to sleep in their own beds.  We had an amazing time and I watched, shocked that my baby girl had solidly landed in the tween years and was loving every moment of it.

I got to the end of the weekend and realized something: I hadn’t blogged any of it.

Last year there was the day of post followed by the post about cakes and even a post about sibling birthday parties.   One birthday, three posts.  This year it just didn’t dawn on me to blog any of it – not the day, not the party, and not the cake that fell apart and was rebuilt.  I’ve taken a step back from blogging to recover from a very busy four months as I worked on the book project, but I think there’s more to it.

I feel like more and more, the stories I want to tell are changing.  Sometimes I feel like I simply have less to say, and other times the words are there, but I don’t have the courage to share them.  Yet.

When I began this blog five years ago, I was desperate for a voice.  At home with a five and a two year old, my days were spent living completely for others.  My husband would call from work at lunch each day and our conversations looked something like this:

How is your day going?  What’s on tap for the afternoon?

I’ve got a meeting with my lawyers and then I’m heading over to the State Department.  You?

Same here.  The kids and I are having our lawyers over for lunch and then I think we’ll play Little People with the President.

I was exactly where I wanted to be, and yet I hungered for something more.  I wanted to add another layer to my life.  And so I began blogging, first about a car and a couch and then about so, so much more.

You have all graciously allowed me to take you on the twists and turns as I blogged about everything from social good to weight loss to my embarrassingly frequent trips to Walt Disney World.

I am grateful for that.  And I’m grateful that you’re with me now, here in the quiet as I figure out where to go next…

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  • The past year and a half has been filled with pregnancies and babies over at BonBon. We both had to take a step back, but returned energized. Sometimes scaling back is what’s necessary to move forward. I hope wherever your path leads, you’ll share it with us! You’ve been a pioneer lady!

  • I love that an unexpected gift of blogging is that we see our stories evolve in ways we maybe didn’t expect.

  • I think maybe your urge to blog changing because your daughter is getting older. At some point the story is *hers* to tell and not yours.

    Blogging is an amazing outlet and allows us to connect with one another in ways I never even imagined, but if you’re not doing it genuinely or in your comfort zone then it’s not worth much, right?

  • Blogging has been the same for me. In the beginning I needed an outlet. I had tons of personal stories to share… But now, it’s different.
    I’m much more conscious about privacy. I’m not sure if it has to do with the fact that my son is now in elementary school or if its the fact that this space has also become a space of business for me and I want to separate personal/ business a bit…..Though Im not sure you can do that in social media?

    Great post!

  • I hear you. Our blogs do evolve and I think that’s a good thing. Social media is a changing world too and it’s natural that everything online changes.

  • I could have written this. Maybe it’s the similar path with writing the book at the same time, maybe that our children are similar ages (or that we, too, have been blessed with many trips to Disney World 🙂 or simply that we are actually living quite a bit of our lives OFFLINE and not merely as an extension of the way we wish they were happening. Either way, I get it. And I love that you wrote this.

  • I feel your pain. Its been hard for me too because i know i have a lot to say but i am trying really hard to respect my families privacy, but i am working on finding a happy medium. I look forward to see how it all unfolds on your end.

  • Can’t wait to see where you land next. Momtrends is also an evolution. That’s the beauty of this platform it can mature with us….like fine wine, we’re just getting better as the years pass.

  • I so agree with those who have said that it’s fun to see our blogs evolve as we do. My focus has definitely changed at Musings, but I am enjoying the evolution. I really like that it has become more of a resource site than memoir, although there’s definitely still some of both. The glory of it all is, WE get to decide! No higher up is telling us what to write about or what direction we should go next. But sometimes it takes time to figure it out, and taking some time is okay. So keep blogging, mama! 🙂

  • The lovely thing about hobbies is that they are always there for you when you need them and like a good friend, can be picked back up like nothing has changed. Five years is a long time and you’re bound to lose your mojo now and again. Enjoy the time away to refresh and regroup. Looking forward to reading about the next phase of your journey, whatever it may be. Best wishes.