Yesterday I was enjoying some peaceful writing time alone in my house while my husband and kids were at the theater seeing the latest PG summer blockbuster when it dawned on me that we are three weeks into July. My thoughts looked something like this…
“How are we already three weeks into July?!?!?”
“Calm down, Self, the summer only began five weeks ago. You have five weeks left. It’s only the halfway point. Relax…”
“Wait a minute. Did I miss my five year bloggiversary?!?!”
I popped into my WordPress dashboard, clicked the no-seriously-go-all-the-way-to-the-very-first-post button, zoomed by 2,000 posts (!?!?) and got to those first two pieces of content I published on that first day.
July 22nd. I caught it with one day to spare.
As strange as it may seem, I remember that first day. My husband called at lunch to see how the kids and I were doing, and I proudly and a little hesitantly told him, “I published a blog post today.”
Blogging on that first day was like screaming into a black hole. I was home alone with a two year old and a four year old for eleven or twelve hours a day and had become overwhelmed and disillusioned. I wanted a third child. Or a puppy. Or a new life. I vacillated daily between exhausted bliss and frenetic discontent. My blog was both my attempt to break into freelance writing to avoid going back to teaching and my desperate grasping to reclaim the abandoned non-mom parts of myself.
Five years out, the idea of writing an “Over the last five years I’ve…” post exhausts me. The person I am now intentionally lives in the moment. I have no desire to list my accomplishments or chart my growth. Today I’m enjoying a job that allows me to start my day peacefully with my son curled up in my bed, a spot he takes nearly the moment his father vacates it, and my daughter free to read in her bedroom, starting her summer days as slowly as she wishes. All of the highs and lows between that first post and this one are inconsequential. Where I am today is fantastic and wholly enough.
Thank you all for hanging around these five years. And thank you for continuing to stick with me for all of my bloggy tomorrows, whatever they may bring and wherever they may take me.