The Facts

This afternoon I wrote an important, honest, reflective post that I believed would spark a critical, though uncomfortable parenting conversation.   The initial comments opened up an equally honest and powerful discussion about the roles we can and cannot play in our children’s lives, the power we do and do not have over the outcomes of their decisions, the reasoning behind the rules that we all hated as children…but that we realize as adults may have saved our lives.

Because of hateful and downright inaccurate comments that began to appear, I pulled the post. I will not have people level accusations, state outright lies, or point fingers at a family suffering from a terrible loss. I will not have my own intentions questioned when they were stated clearly.

Instead I want to simply post this in the hopes that it alone – without context – will be helpful in some way:

Fact: Accidents involving alcohol are more likely to occur at night… about five times more likely.

Fact: Teenage drivers are at a higher risk to be involved in a drinking and driving accident.

Fact: Multiple studies have shown that parents are the number one influence in their children’s lives.

Fact: A 2010 study showed that night time driving is the number one danger for teen drivers.

Knowledge is a powerful parenting tool.

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Leave a Reply


  • It’s a fact I’m sorry you were made to feel that you had to take your first post down.
    The facts above definitely speak for themselves…and they should be heard by everyone!

  • Apparently I missed something. Sorry you had such ugliness on your blog.

    • Amy

      Things went downhill quickly yesterday…

  • I missed the other post. I got a DWI at age 18, blew a .05, so legal for age 21, obviously not legal for me at 18. I never drove buzzed nor drunk again. Had I known more or been parented differently as a teen, maybe I would not have had to get that DWI on my record at age 18 to learn the facts about drinking and driving.

    • Amy

      Brandi, thanks for weighing in!

  • I saw your post in my reader — readers are funny that way — and I get what you say about how we aren’t supposed to go there about asking why kids are allowed to be out at all hours of the night. Yet isn’t that what a lot of people think anyway? I do. Every time I see a brief in my local paper about a crash that happened at 3, 4, 5 in the morning (which is published at least once a week), I automatically think alcohol was involved.

    • Amy

      Holly, what always crosses my mind is this:
      1. Why was she in that car?
      2. Where did her parents think she was?
      3. What worked and didn’t work for them?
      4. How hard am I going to have to fight to get my kids from defying/ignoring/walking out that door anyway.

      I feel like I’m preparing for battle, truly, but the price of not fighting is much worse.

  • KL

    There was an accident here a few months ago where 3 teenagers were killed at 2am. Their friend, the driver, who was drunk, is now in jail for manslaughter as is his father who provided the alcohol. I get the arguments, but facts are facts…they don’t lie.

  • Recently I heard of an accident not involving a car but involving a young person, alcohol, and bicycling without a helmet. It put this person at risk for being diagnosed as clinically brain dead. I haven’t heard more on the result, but it goes to show that excess alcohol impairs judgement and response time, whether in a car or not.

    For teens still living at home it absolutely calls into question parenting. True there are some situations where the parents have done all they could, but unfortunately that has become increasingly rare. Teaching good decision making and judgement is one of the hardest parenting skills but worth every minute of time and frustration that may ensue.