I will never forget the first moment that I boldly communicated that my calling in life was to be a mother. During a bit of downtime in a college creating writing class, the professor asked us – a motley crew of students from various programs and majors – to share what we hoped to be after college.
I’m headed to law school…
Public policy for the federal government…
Journalist here in D.C….
I want to be a mom.
Of course, I wanted to be many other things as well: a teacher, a writer, a world traveler, a wife. But in that moment when asked to choose one word to describe my future, the single word that came to my mind was mother.
I took for granted in those naive days that someday I would be a mom, but nine years and six months into this parenting journey, I’ve never once taken for granted that my kids are still with me on this earth, happy, healthy. Based solely on those first pages of Emma’s story, it was difficult to guess what twists and turns would follow…
There are no cute pictures of me holding a “__ Weeks!” sign in front of an expanding belly. No tiny pink slippers in between two pairs of adult shoes. Until the day my daughter was born, I was too sick to truly celebrate her. Until the day my daughter was born, I was too sick to believe with my whole heart that someday she would be here with us.
Emma arrived 8 weeks early and her first moments, days, weeks, months on this earth were an utter struggle. She refused to eat, her breathing stopped, she danced around hypothermia over and over again, earning herself trips back to the isolette. She was scanned for brain bleeds and heart defects were discovered. She was tested for one disorder after another. Doctors met with us daily, providing updates, but more questions than answers.
After three weeks in the hospital, they sent her home with us.
We continued to see specialists, undergo tests, and prepared for the possibility of a lifetime of struggles. Then around Emma’s 1st birthday, the pediatric cardiologist told us that her heart was healed and to never come back. “Go have a wonderful life, Emma.”
There have certainly been challenges through the last nine years. Delays, health concerns, issues related to my malnutrition and her early birth. Maybe that’s why it sometimes takes my breath away when I glimpse at this little girl and realize how close she is to being a woman, how very nearly finished with childhood this girl really is. There are the conversations we have that flicker between childish fantasy and mature realism. The bouncy ponytail that falls to hit a suddenly defined jawline. The arms that we recently discovered measure the same length as mine from shoulder to wrist.
I prayed for it to happen. I worried that it wouldn’t. And now, in her ninth year, I see that this baby girl who made me what I always wanted to be is doing what I always hoped she would. She’s growing up.
This post is inspired by Shot@Life, an initiative of the United Nations Foundation that educates, connects and empowers the championing of vaccines as one of the most cost effective ways to save the lives of children in the world’s hardest to reach places.During Shot@Life’s Blogust, 31 bloggers, one each day in August, are writing about moments that matter. For every comment on this post and the 30 other posts, Walgreens will donate a vaccine (up to 50,000 vaccines). A child dies every 20 seconds from a vaccine-preventable disease. We can change this reality and help save kids’ lives!Sign up here for a daily email so you can quickly and easily comment and share every day during Blogust! Stay connected with Shot@Life at www.shotatlife.org, join the campaign on Facebook and follow them on Twitter. And be sure to check out Sheila’s post on Xiaolin Mama tomorrow. Thank you for supporting #Blogust13 in the comments below!
Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter. Powerful story.
Thank you, Nancy!
Wow–what an excellent post! When my son was 9 he started little league–this after doctors assured us he’d likely never run. Like Emma, my Aaron had a rough start–and spent weeks in the hospital. Now he is a father and all those worries seem long ago and far away. Thanks Amy and Walgreens for helping other children get a Shot at life!
Isn’t it amazing how time can change so much when kids are given the gift of time to grow and heal?
Amy, what a beautiful post, and reminder how lucky we are to be moms. Give Emma an extra big hug this morning in celebration of her in all her delicious nine-ness!!!
Thanks, Emily!
You wanted to be a mom – to give life, to celebrate life, to share life, to bring another into Being. And now, she Is. 😀
Thanks for commenting!
I used to work in an NICU,
Not an easy job – thank you!
Motherhood must be full of its sorrows and joys, but it sounds as if the joys overcome the sorrows or the sorrows become joys in and of themselves due to the love they stir. Many blessings are wished for you and your miracle of a daughter.
Thanks for commenting!
She’s beautiful!
Thanks, Connie!
I have a nine too. I think that hope to be a Mom was always there for me too. So glad your girl has persevered!
Thank you, Lisa!
What a wonderful story. Your daughter is clearly fortunate that you always wanted to e a Mom – and it doesn’t end when she is “grown”. You get to be a mom for life!
Thanks for commenting!
Go have a wonderful life, Emma!
Thanks for commenting!
I am so happy that your daughter’s congenital heart disease healed spontaneously and that she grew to be a happy, healthy 9 y.o… I wish her many more years to come.
Thanks for supporting Shot@Life’s #Blogust13
Thanks, Monica!
Being a mom is the best blessing in the world!
Agreed!
Vaccines are a right to life. It is so important to support these programs
Thanks for commenting!
Thank you for sharing your daughter’s rocky start and shining futures.
Thanks for commenting!
When you become a parent, you empathize more completely with other parents. Hope to take the fear of Polio away from all parents in the near future.
Thanks for commenting!
I am so moved by your words. I’m smiling at the joy of your story, your beautiful daughter, as tears fall in agony for your your pregnancy story. I love that you’ve shared everything for Shot@Life… truly showing us that moments are truly miraculous.
Thank you so much, Sharon!
I have a 9 year old daughter too and she takes my breath away all the time. We are so lucky.
Thanks for commenting!
We also had the wonderful “don’t need to come back” words from a cardiologist at twelve months when heart defects had healed.
Congratulations on your child’s healing! What a moment….
Thanks for lending a post to help children in need!
Thanks for commenting!
Thanks for lending a post to help children in need! Your daughter is beautiful!
What a beautiful story! Wishing you many more years with your beautiful, healthy daughter.
Thanks for commenting!
Wonderful post, Amy! I have sons age 9 and 8, and I marvel at them everyday.
Thanks, Ilina!
Touching story. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for commenting!
Wonderful!!
Thanks for commenting!
Congratulations! So great to see Emma finally getting at a state of health: ” Go, Emma, go to live your wonderful life! Happy Birthday to you!”
I know what that means, my third daughter, born healthy, at twelve begun little by little to be taken seriously ill: no more sport, no more bike, no more games, no more scout, no more flute, no more friends. Just lifetime of struggles, divided between study and hospitals, and confined to bed: as you said, more questions than answers… But now Eleonora is twentyone and is getting her state of healh and she dreams to be a mom!
What an incredible turn around!
True, ty! and writing I fully realized “suddenly…nine” also for Eleonora…
9 is a Magic Number!
Thank God for her. She is HERE. Thank you for sharing her with us!
Thanks for commenting!
I would have loved it if both my babies survived utero. I was really excited because I was going to have twins-one girl and one boy. It was not to be my little girl died 6 months in and was absorbed by my placenta. The doctors said if the little girl would have been on the bottom I would have lost both babies. I am a proud mom of a wonderful 21 yr. old boy who although has ADD, had numerous ailments before year 5 (walking problems, severe ear infections etc.) I can somewhat relate at how we as parents persevere and never give up hope for what are children are and what they become!
I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Thank you so much for your comment.
When I was growing up, I thought for sure I’d be a mother of 4. My mother was the oldest of 4 children and I was the oldest of 4 children so I thought the pattern would continue. It didn’t and I’m sure God has a reason for that. His plan for me must be that I be the best Auntie I can be. I currently have a 9 yo niece who is so smart, energetic, athletic, kind, good-hearted, and comical. She amazes the family every day with what she is able to learn and teach us. She is the last of my nieces and nephews who will be 9 so we relish this year and can already see glimpses of the woman she will be. Continued health and happiness to your daughter…
Thank you, Michele. Your nieces and nephews are so lucky to have you!
Thanks for reminding us to be grateful..and to follow our dreams. Thanks for supporting Shot@Life too.
Thanks for commenting!
Thank you for sharing this – GFWC is proud to support Shot@Life and Blogust so that more children can “go have a great life” just like your daughter!
Thanks for commenting!
I have two daughters in their 30’s. Our oldest struggled for years as a brittle Type I diabetic. Throughout the first twenty years of her life she fought Diabetic Ketoacidosis. Called DKA. She is healthy, but as time goes on we worry that she will develop circulation, kidney and other problems.
I never had to worry about her health for the first six years of her life. Now, I worry about her later life.
I am glad your daughter’s heart problems resolved. She will have a great life. And so will you.
Let’s keep our children as healthy as possible–vaccinate them.
We face so many challenges as parents – some seemingly trivial day to day – and then the big ones. Even when they’re all grown up, our children are of course our babies. What a beautiful post, thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story with us!
What a beautiful little girl you have. My little girl is 19 months old and everyday she amazes me. I know I will look at her one day and think the same thing… she’s growing up.
Beautiful Amy! Thank you so much for being part of Blogust and helping children get the vaccines they so desperately need to remain healthy.
Beautiful story! congratulations!
Great post. Cheers to Amy.
TFS! Life can change suddenly. We never know!
~Diane in TN
A beautiful piece of writing about parenting. “Go have a wonderful life, Emma” must be the among the best words you have ever heard spoken!
Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Wow, incredible story. Thanks for sharing!
We all need to count our blessings ….. this is a tremedous story and thankls for sharing.
I never felt that mother as destiny feeling before I got married and started actively *trying*, so I’m fascinated by (and a teensy bit envious of) women who do/did. Kind of like the anticipation of an amazing trip that you’re planning – it’s part of the fun.
So glad that you’re part of this important effort with Shot@Life!
This is beautiful. I dreamed of my chidren before I met them and it is a miracle to watch them transform from an idea you had in your mind to living, breathing beings whom we love more than life itselt. Thanks for sharing.
What a beautiful story!
I really enjoyed your post. I wish I could give health and happiness to every baby born!
Thank you for sharing your love/s!
Thanks for posting, this is fantastic! Definintely passing it on to my mom.
I had three healthy pregnancies, three healthy births, and have now celebrated many birthdays and milestones with three healthy children. I’m so glad that your Emma has this birthday to celebrate-and thank you for supporting efforts so other families can say the same.
[…] August 9: Amy Lupold Bai, Resourceful Mommy – And Suddenly… Nine! […]
Wow! Enjoyed reading this
Great post! Thanks for supporting Shot@Life!
Children truly are a joy! Nice post!
nice !! keep doing your work and invest and care about your children !!
Congrats on a beautiful baby girl and allowing us a glimpse into your life. She has been through tumultuous trials and tribulations but never once did you all not believe in her. I wish you the best!
Thank you for sharing your moving story.
WE HAVE AN OUTbreak of measles in the Fraser Valley here in British Columbia Canada . A non vaccinated person visited a hospital while breeding the measles and now all sorts on new born babies are at risk of measles and the side effects from that
Thank you for what you’re doing for Shot@Life!
What an amazing story! My mother was extremely ill when she was pregnant with both my sister and I. They told her she was crazy for even dreaming of trying to have me because her pregnancy with my sister almost killed her. You are a very strong woman to have gone through this and come out on top. It is so good to hear that your daughter’s heart has healed and that she is now a healthy 9 year old, I wish her many more years in life! And thank you for participating in Shot@Life and giving underprivileged kids access to medical care that could save their lives!
I would love to be mom too . I wish to you & your family a beautiful life !
Your wonderful story touched me so much that it brought tears of joy to my eyes! Your little Emma is not only very pretty, she’s a fighter too! The world will be a better place for having her in it! God bless your daughter, you and your whole family! ♥
Congratulations to you and your beautiful daughter. As the doctor ordered, go have a beautiful life, Emma
So sweet. I am glad your daughter is doing so well!
Thanks!
You remind us that we should never take any of this for granted, Amy.
Beautiful post Amy. 9 is the age where you can start to see the beginnings of who they will be when they are adults. I loved 9.
Wonderful! My oldest is nearly 9 too, and I’m astounded at how far he’s come from the tiny newborn he used to be, nestled in the crook of my elbow.
Beautiful 🙂
Great story, great cause!!
Such a struggle made her more precious. So glad she got better.
Thank you for reminding all of us that even the simplest wish a mother has for her child–that they live to grow-up–is a miracle we should never, ever take for granted.
I have my own Miss 9 and she’s pretty special too. On the cusp of so much. And yet still a little girl. It’s a complex time, but I’m loving her coming in to her own.
Lovely post! My kiddos are 8 and 5 and wish time would go a little bit slower.
Great job guys!!
We have two grandkids who are 9 and they are so much fun! Thanks for being a part of this!
I think motherhood is a terriffc calling. It’s a lifelong job, isn’t it? My son is all grown, but I love being a mom.
Such a sweet story.
“There are the conversations we have that flicker between childish fantasy and mature realism.”
Thank you for sharing. The line between childhood and adulthood is sometimes so very, very thin. I don’t want to stop time but I want to savor every moment.
Mom to daughter 12, son 10 1/2
Happy Birthday to your sweet, sweet girl!
wonderful story
Great story! Thank you and happy anniversary of becoming a mom!
This is such a wonderful story and great reminder to never take for granted a child’s good health! I was also born premature and thankful everyday that I grew out of my complications.
I was never ever to have chrildren though I did get the blessing of raising teo step chrildren, which I am still very close to and they call me mom. Just these expericience alone taught me what a great word ‘MOM’. You went through a lot but now your have buetiful baby girl-who is healthy and happy. I admire you and your strentgh and love for your daughter-you have both been blessed with a gift from God to have eachother.
Lovely post, Amy. I am SO glad she is doing well, what a cutie! She reminds me a bit of my daughter, who’s 8.
So glad that you and she pulled through alright!
I got goosebumps reading this Amy– love this: “”Go have a wonderful life, Emma.” What a powerful moment.
Yay for 9!!! Enjoy – it goes by way to fast!
Thank you so much for sharing your life with the world, and helping save lives!
Why you gotta make me cry? 😉
So wonderful. What a blessing she is…
Every comment counts!
Wonderful!
Until you become one….
This story is beautiful! I pray that God continue to bless you and your family!
Thank you for sharing!
What a wonderfully uplifting story. I also want to say ”Go have a wonderful life, Emma.” just like the pediatric cardiologist.
That was lovely!
Great Story. I have a grandson who is now 11. He was born with heart defects and had open heart surgury at two months. Since then is is doing great ( the wonders of modern medicine. Hope this earns a vaccine for some needy child!
Beautiful post!
Great words, beautiful story, life is amazing and to be cherished! You have the most perfect gift, and wonderful calling..”to be a mum”. What could be as important! My deepest sympathy to those who have tried and are still trying, may God bless your prayers x
Happiness is the word
Having a child changes everything. Your outlook on life, your priorities, your social life & even your ability to deal with gross substances 🙂
Love you, love Emma, love this post. <3
Looking fwrd to happier and healthier Fridays for all! ONE comment = one vaccine, genius
Great story of love and hope. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing! That was lovely. I’m a Mom too ( son with 23 y.o.) : )
Definitely a wonderful thing to be grateful for.
What a beautiful young girl!
Thank you for supporting vaccines.
What a wonderful story and reminder to treasure our children as the gifts they are.
Very inspiring story with a happy ending.
Beautiful! Congratulations.
Amazing)))
Wow, what a great story! Lots of struggles initially. Happy 9th and many more happy years ahead of you, Emma!!
Beautiful child! Beautiful story! Beautiful to donate all these vaccines.
How lucky this girl is to have you as a mom… and the dedicated medical attention. So many get none. For too many, even a measles shot, could save a life. Thank you Shot at Life.
I wish all children could be as cherished as your beautiful daughter.
Am
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Beautiful story. We are so fortunate to live in a country that cares for the health of it’s children and cares that children around the world get a chance to grow up. God bless those who dedicate their lives to help people get a chance to grow old.
Wonderful… 🙂
Great story!
What a wonderful post…I am now a grandmother, but as a young nurse before I had any children of my own I worked in Pediatrics at a NYU Medical Center, which was a referral center for very sick kids. Our children had many medical problems, including brain tumors, cancer, and birth anomalies that required multiple surgeries to correct. While working there I became pregnant with my first child…fortunately I never became overly concerned with the outcome of my own pregnancy…it was as if God took me by the hand and told me everything would be okay. To this day, I thank God that my children were both healthy even though one had only a low heart rate at birth. I still think about the many children that I took care of and I try to do what I can to help those in need. I too am an Ambassador with Shot@Life and am so happy for this opportunity to increase vaccinations. Thank you for sharing your story.
love this comment! keep the blogs coming 🙂
Beautiful story!
I think this is my absolute favorite blog post you have wrote!! ♥
What a beautiful post Amy! And what a terrific cause to support! Congratulations on your beautiful daughter and nine wonderful years 🙂
beautiful miracle child – congratulations – a blessing you have her.
Great!
Stay positive!
9, hovering as a child ,nearly an adolescent, blessings to you.enjoy, enjoy, enjoy… time will pass so quickly!
Thanks for taking part in Blogust .
Thanks for sharing. love blogust
Children bring so much joy into our lives and I’m glad you’re supporting vaccines!
great mom feeling
and the great vaccination drive
Her story is a beautiful one. Congratulations and God’s blessings to your family!
What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it here.
Fantastic story!
I am so glad that she made it though those challenges first months! She’s beautiful. 🙂
Yeah, Go Emma~!
What a lovely tribute. May you both have a wonderful life.
Nine is awesome!
Another beautiful Blogust post. Thank you.
I agree the greatest job in life is being a Mother!
Nothing else can even come close! Being an ex-NICU nurse I know how difficult it is on families who have premies! Thank for a great post and I am so happy your daughter is now 9 and flourishing. It is such a special blessing!
Thank you for sharing and being part of this cause!
Reminds me of when my son was born prematurely – the worries, unanswered questions. I’m glad everything is on track for Emma. My son has grown into a healthy, happy young man of 24 and a blessing to us. Bless doctors and caregivers.
Honest and beautiful!
What a wonderful story! I’m so glad your Emma is doing well and that you are too. I’m sure your love for her just as she is makes a difference.
Thanks. What a powerful statement you both are. Thanks for supporting vaccines.
Love your post! It’s so crazy watching kids grow up, but you just love every minute of it! Thanks for helping with such a great cause!
Yay Emma and yay to life’s ambition of motherhood, the most important profession. I love that you are standing up for Shot@Life!
Cool!
Great post!
This is beautiful. My triplets were born at 30 weeks and the NICU stay was incredibly difficult. It’s been over 3 years and it still takes me by surprise some days.
Beautifully said!
What a great story of your daughter. I wish you had a crystal ball to see her as who she is today just after you gave birth. Way to go, mom!!
Jen 🙂
[…] Amanda Peet August 6: Polly Pagenhart August 7: Jessica Ashley August 8: Rachel Faucett August 9: Amy Lupold Bair August 10: Sheila Dowd August 11: Ellen […]
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt story.
Absolutely beautiful!
Happy birthday to your daughter, Amy. I hope this is the best year yet for her (and you).
So glad that your children are healthy after what you went through. I can’t even imagine. Here’s to many more years of good health for both your family and the kids receiving help from Shot@Life.
Thank you for sharing your story and this initiative Amy. Today is my sons birthday, he’s 17 now!
Wow so amazing!
Thank you so much for sharing this story.
Oh, tears, Amy. What a beautiful moment that must have been when the cardiologist told you never to come back. Thank you for sharing your – and Emma’s – story.
Hooray for happy endings, I hope this campaign brings many more.
Thanks for supporting Shot@Life!
This made me tear up. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful daughter.
Amy, I had no idea about your daughter. So happy she’s had such wonderful 9 years. Thanks for sharing and for being a part of Blogust!
How beautiful. It’s funny how one can know of a blogger and not truly know them, know all they’ve experienced, and that’s how I felt here. I gasped some – and then smiled and felt so happy for you and your *always* baby girl. She’s beautiful.
Such a beautiful post, Amy!
This post totally just made me tear up. So beautiful!
Beautiful post. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story and being a part of Blogust! Happy and healthy kids are such a blessing.
How absolutely lovely. I am SO glad to hear about nine! She is beautiful.
As a mom of a 9 1/2 year old, I know exactly what you mean about those glimpses that make me realize how much my little girl is growing into a woman. While it’s a bit scary, it’s also so exciting to see her come into her own. What a gift it is to be able to provide a vaccine to a child in another country simply with a comment so they can also reach the age of 9 1/2 too!
What a lovely post. Thanks so much for sharing – we are turning the corner to 8 with my Emma, so you’ve given me something to look forward too for sure!
Wonderful post! Thanks so much for supporting such a great cause! I’ve been a fellow champion with Shot@Life since the beginning and am proud to continue my work to give every child a chance at a healthy life!
My mother never wanted kids. Then, at 25, she had me. She loved me, don’t get me wrong. She’s a great mom, but that wasn’t what she wanted for her future.
Me, that’s all I wanted. I wanted to give a child the things I couldn’t have – a complete family. Never feeling abandoned. I didn’t care so much about my career because a job is a job – the best and most rewarding one I would ever have would be being MOMMY. I would gladly shovel poop in a barn all day if it meant that I got to spend time with my son. A job is just a job. They come and go. He’s loved, fed, clothed, and wants for nothing, so I can definitely relate 🙂
Thank you SO much for supporting Shot@Life!
Go and have a happy life — yes!
I can’t imagine how frightening those first weeks must have been. I’m glad you are seeing good things now.
I completely understand this post. After my cancer, I was told I couldn’t have children, then a few years later I found myself in a high-risk pregnancy and my son was born two months early. He was only two pounds, had Bradycardia and I remember the time from his birth until he was over a year old as being in a state of constant near-panic. My son is 11 now, getting ready to start middle school and almost as tall as me. He is my miracle child and I am so blessed.
[…] Amy: Suddenly Nine […]
What a beautiful daughter you have! She was meant to be in this world and who knows what kind of a mark she will leave on it.
Thank you for sharing your story!! And contributing to this great shot@life campaign!!
Thank you for being a part of Shot@Life! How special to look back and see how far you’ve all come!
Such a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thanks for sharing your story! Every child matters!
Love it !
[…] August 9: Amy Lupold Bair, Resourceful Mommy – And Suddenly… Nine! […]
Thank you and Thank Shot@Life for this post!
Such a lovely post. Thanks for supporting Shot@Life
thanks for sharing your story! our son Caleb will need heart surgery in the next year to plug some holes. They say it should be safe and outpatient but as a parent you always worry.
Beautiful! Yay we are almost there!!!!!
A tough start – glad to hear how far behind it is now!
Thanks for supporting Shot@Life!
Lot of challenges in the beginning, but glad it’s turning out so well!
[…] to stop by my dusty old site from time to time this summer when there was a good reason to such as Blogust, which helped Shot @ Life provide free vaccines to children in the developing world. And […]
Here’s to growing up!