visit tracker on tumblr

It Turns Out That Lazy is Easy

Hi, my name is Amy, and I have gained seven pounds in the last eight months.

Last summer everyone followed along as I joined the Mamavation community and finally worked on changing my sedentary, unhealthy lifestyle.  My kids were both headed to elementary school, my work schedule was becoming a bit more focused, and I simply was ready to make the changes necessary to improve my physical health.  I kept better track of what I was eating, I checked in with friends online, and I exercised regularly.

And it worked.

From June to November I lost just over thirty pounds, and I felt fantastic.  I was down three sizes and my energy level was up.  I even ran a 5K without passing out, and honestly, I felt transformed.  I really believed that this was it, this was the time that was going to stick, and I had become this new, healthy version of me, the Amy who runs races and hikes mountains and eats things like quinoa on purpose, not because it is served next to a steak at a fancy restaurant.

And then something happened.  A lot of things happened, really.  There were the holidays that began with my birthday in the beginning of November and apparently haven’t ended.  It turns out that the entire month of December is a great time to eat Christmas cookies, and January is a lovely month for chai tea lattes and apple fritters.  I haven’t found the specific date on the calendar that recommended those meal choices, but I know I had that for lunch at least once.  Yes, that’s right. I had an apple fritter for lunch (actually more than once).

I also started going to a counselor in November in the spirit of getting healthy from head to toe, inside and out, but it turns out that when you’re working on issues like the occasional anxiety attack or liking to control situations (serious back seat driver here, my friends), you suddenly focus less on things like which green vegetable should be paired with your lean meat.  In fact, after some sessions it seems like the best thing to do is go grab a bagel and a bag of cool ranch goodness because that is comfort food and you deserve it after a clinical hour of hard work.

On top of all of that there was the issue with the doctor telling me not to run anymore or I would need surgery sooner rather than later to put myself back together again having used gravity and high impact to shake myself apart from the inside out.  Yes, I continued to walk regularly, but I did not pick up the low impact exercises I vowed to try like swimming and pilates.

And oh, the summer, you evil fiend.  There are hot dogs at cook outs and ice cream cones on warm nights when the whole family can stay up late and icy cold, bubbly, sugary fountain sodas that just scream fun in the sun. It is harder to exercise outside and easier to indulge inside.

But here is the bottom line.  After years of being a stay-at-home mom whose main form of exercise was getting up to get another board book off the shelf for the little one sitting with me on the floor, eating right and exercising for a couple of months did not create a permanent change.  I had not, in fact, been transformed.  I was simply taking deliberate actions that were transforming my physical body.

None of that changed the fact that being lazy is easier.  And none of that changed the fact that easy was my personal default.

So now what?

So now I realize that this is a lifetime struggle instead of just saying that it is or typing that it is or wishing, quite frankly, that it were not.

This will always be a struggle for me. This will ALWAYS be a struggle for me. Every single day forever and for always.

And I realize how good it feels to right now at this moment be down 25 pounds from what I weighed just over a year ago instead of being sad that I’m not down thirty.  And I realize that regardless of how good it feels, it feels even better to not carry that extra weight that is slowly slipping back onto my body.

So I am getting back on the proverbial horse.  I started paying better attention again to what I am eating and what I am doing (or not doing, as it were), and already I have dropped 2.5 pounds from that pesky 7.  I’d like to lose the next 4.5 and then I’d like to keep going.  Even at down thirty I did not feel that I had reached my goal.  I’ve started running again, deciding that overall health was more important than the health of just one part of me and that I’d rather fall apart pushing myself than sitting and waiting for rust to set in.

But I am also trying to be realistic, not demanding that I be perfect, and not feeling like I’ve failed because I’ve slipped.  That sort of pressure is the type of negative self-talk that will send me right back to the bagel place (always a struggle…).

And yes, I realize that all of this is going to be hard.  But that’s okay.  I’ve decided it’s time to be done with easy.

Comments

  1. 1
    Wendy
    Follow on Twitter: ChoosingLoveAZ
    says:

    You can do it Amy!
    Wendy recently posted..The Bears are back in town!

    • 2
      Amy
      Follow on Twitter: ResourcefulMom
      says:

      I am just now getting to respond to these comments. It’s part of the lazy theme ;) Thank you for your support, Wendy. This community really keeps me going.

  2. 3
    One Crazy Momma
    Follow on Twitter: 1crazymomma
    says:

    I’m in the same boat with you. I gained 6 pounds just since Type A. All the fantastic food in Charlotte was bad enough but the excuse that its okay to indulge cause it’s a conference doesn’t work a month later. (Does it?, lol)
    One Crazy Momma recently posted..Every Child Deserves a Shot at Dreaming of the Future

    • 4
      Amy
      Follow on Twitter: ResourcefulMom
      says:

      I once went to Disney for an anniversary trip and gained 7 pounds in four days. Filet mignon and fountain soda can do that ;)

  3. 5
    @KimMoldofsky
    Follow on Twitter: KimMoldofsky
    says:

    We all have to find that balance- what’s healthy and do-able. Don’t underestimate walking in fact listen to Fresh Air interview on exercise and healthy habits, you don’t have to run! And, in fact, just getting up from your computer now and then can do wonders. http://www.npr.org/2012/05/09/152336802/stand-up-walk-around-even-just-for-20-minutes
    @KimMoldofsky recently posted..Roller Coaster Physics, Take II: Win Tickets to Six Flags

  4. 6
    Katherine Lewis
    Follow on Twitter: KatherineLewis
    says:

    Congratulations on the 25 pounds, Amy! One thing that helps me when I hear that voice in my head calling me lazy is to think of the different areas of my life where I’m NOT lazy. Like, I may give into the after-dinner snack, but boy am I disciplined about sticking to my budget. Or, I will spend hours getting the wording of an essay just write.

    Cheering you on!
    Katherine Lewis recently posted..Catching Up on Women Having It All and the Atlantic Magazine

  5. 7
    A.Smith
    Follow on Twitter: asmithonline
    says:

    “… and eats things like quinoa on purpose” – lol, you’re the one that got me eating quinoa on purpose from one of your twitter parties a few month ago (can’t remember which one but it left me feeling rather guilty that I wasn’t making better choices). Anyways, I feel your pain about the lifelong struggle because my weight seems to fluctuate here and there but I find that if I focus on the number I get discouraged very easily. If on the other hand, I focus on how I feel and whether I think I’ve managed to drop a few pounds – I’m much happier and at ease. The number on the scale is evil…period. Just forget about it and focus on how you feel.

  6. 8

    Thank you for having guts to write this very personal post Amy. You are one of the unlaziest people I know… but I know what you mean — you simply chose to focus attention on other things than working out & eating well for a while. Story of my last 5 years, sadly. Thank you for your constant inspiration and honesty, and oddly this post inspires me to move and get off my lazy butt much more than the “yay me, I lost 30 lbs and it was easy” – type of posts. And yet… yay you for an amazing transformation you’ve already done!! And even more yay that you think your overall health is much more important that the number your scale shows. Keep being awesome my friend!
    Katja of Skimbaco recently posted..Fashion Friday: Strawberries & Bike Rides

  7. 9
    Arianne
    Follow on Twitter: ToThink
    says:

    You are not lazy but I think we share something called emotional eating. ;-) What you did with your weight loss last year was AMAZING and so inspiring. I think now with therapy you’re healing on the inside instead of just the outside and that is SO important. I recently made a vow of no more emotional eating so that at least I wasn’t contributing to the issue. You’re doing great and staying focused on what you eat is more important than what the scale says, babe. Love you!
    Arianne recently posted..Dear body

  8. 10
    Jodifur
    Follow on Twitter: Jodifur
    says:

    You sound so emotionally healthy and whole. It is a struggle, and sometimes you have to take the long view. We all slip and slide and run sometimes and sit others.

  9. 11
    Jessica @FoundtheMarbles
    Follow on Twitter: FoundtheMarbles
    says:

    I love your honesty in this post, Amy. This blogging life can be very sedentary. I had put on twelve pounds that I am just starting to see very slowly start to come off. It’s certainly not easy! You can do it though and if you need a motivator you let me know, ok?
    Jessica @FoundtheMarbles recently posted..How to Stand Your Ground

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge