You Know You’re a Mom If…

As we kick off the summer, I’m bringing back an old favorite…

  1. You’ve ever used a silly band as a ponytail holder…in your own hair.
  2. You’ve built a fort despite the fact that it’s 2011 and you’re not colonizing a new land.
  3. You’ve not only stacked the plates when finished with a meal at a restaurant, but you’ve brushed the crumbs into a pile.
  4. You’ve ever used saliva as a cleaning agent.
  5. You’ve fallen asleep on the job.
  6. You’ve ever cheered because someone has peed in a toilet.
  7. You’ve sung songs with completely made up words, often with the purpose of convincing a child to do something (poop, pee, sleep, stop crying…) ((see also: number 6))
  8. You occasionally eat PBJ for lunch, even if you’re alone in the house.
  9. You sleep in jammies, not pajamas and certainly not lingerie.
  10. You’ve used, “Oh Pickles!” as a swear even when the kids are not around.
  11. You are not in any of your own vacation photos.
  12. You’ve got tiny fingerprints all over your touchscreen anything.
  13. You’ve ever used giving birth as an excuse for your appearance/weight/headache/the weather.
  14. You’ve shown people pictures of your stomach – both inside and out – intentionally.
  15. You can’t remember the last time you ate dinner without cutting food on someone else’s plate.
  16. You’ve accidentally cut the food on your husband’s plate.
  17. You think the first day of school is both the happiest and the saddest day of the year.
  18. You think the first day of summer is both the happiest and saddest day of the year.
  19. You’ve completely forgotten what people without kids do for fun.
  20. You’ve both laughed and cried while reading this list.

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  • OMG – Love this list! Thank you Amy, I needed that tonight as we get ready for Moo, Flower, and their other child to invade for big kid’s family party tomorrow. I shall be doing another item – making a food look like an animal 😉

    • I was waiting for DH to finish snuggling N to sleep and the first few of these just came to me. Sometimes it’s fun to just get our funny out in a post 🙂 I hope you’re surviving time with Moo and Flower!!

  • Sara @Doodle741

    I LOVE THIS!!! 🙂 What an awesome list! It needs to be printed somewhere! 🙂 Maybe in a Hallmark card – for Mother’s Day?!

    • Ooooh, a Hallmark card. I think I know someone to talk to about that…

      • Sara @Doodle741

        FUN! I know I’d buy one for my sister-in-law! Good luck!

  • This is so great, Amy! I especially love #11. We just got back from a trip and there is absolutely no photographic evidence that I was there.

    • I tried to fix this on the Fourth of July this year by forcing DH to take pictures of me. Only my left arm is missing in EVERY PICTURE. I seriously had people wondering if I’d been in an accident and didn’t tell anyone.

  • I’ve got one, as of 3:30 this afternoon… You stand completely still, cradling your baby as he vomits down the front and inside of your bathing suit… and then you think nothing of taking a shower to clean both of you up.


    • That and explosive poops are the worst. Who knew that we’d get to a place where being covered in puke and poop from another human being wouldn’t even make us flinch?

      • Seriously! Oh, but the weirdest? Being in the shower/tub, holding naked baby, and having them poop on you. Eww. Love the list! Agree with it all.

  • Joyce McDaniel

    You know you are a mom when your children grab your earrings and pulls them out of your ears.

  • This??? This is why you MUST do that 4 letter word we keep kicking around sooner rather than later. This is SO your voice, and yet so universal. I LOVE.

    And I have one for you-

    If you’ve ever claimed morning sickness while crying and NOT pregnant to get flight attendants to re-open cabin doors, so you could catch the plane home to your kids-but really you were just playing airport quarter slots til the very.last.second, when you ran through the terminal shrieking maniacally “BE RIGHT THERE!!” to the loudspeaker who was paging you.

    No??? That one’s just me??? Well, I made it up…(looks at ceiling innocently, cough cough)

    And, in my imagination, it DID work, though not a mama’s proudest moment.

    • Linds, I have to know. Have you ever been on time for a flight? 🙂

  • This is so great! Love the saliva one. Very true! I actually wrote a similar post last week. Here are mine:

  • Tracy P

    I love, love this list. I’m reading this in my jammies with a silly band pony tail holder as we speak!

    • Tracy, that just means that you’re a cool mom 🙂

  • Awww… that’s funny, sentimental, and sadly in places all too true. Good job.

    • Michael, I was thinking of making it a You Know You’re a Parent list. Maybe I’ll do one for dads, too!

  • I love this! We are hunkering in today on the last day before school starts, enjoying the day and watching the Braves play. We had brunch (grilled cheeses) at 10:45 since the cook didn’t wake up in time for church/breakfast and was a little too early for lunch. Good times! God Bless!

  • Claire

    Hi! I totally agree with you on the last part of of your list, I both laugh and cry on your lists because everything you said was so true and being a mother also, this feeling is great! Thanks for sharing this post. 🙂

  • Joni McNabb

    You watch a movie with a good looking actor in it & comment on how his hair looks like your sons.

    • I find myself saying, “Oh, that poor actor’s mother!” when I’m watching movies where they’re getting hurt or killed off.

  • Love it!

    #10 — the penguins of Madagascar say, “Shit-ake mushrooms!” I’ve used that one too….

    • I swear the Penguins of Madagascar was written for us and not the kids. 🙂

  • carla-marie

    Maybe one to add to the list: when the only way to get your son or daughter to wash their hair is to put swimming goggles on them first so the soap bubble monsters can’t see them.

  • A few more for ya:
    The only time you wear white is when it is spit up.
    Brushing your teeth & your hair is your only beauty routine.

    Your husband thinks you have a crush on the guys from the “Wiggles”

    You say the 1 thing you promised you never would;
    “Because I said so!”

  • […] Just in case you need proof ~ You Know You’re a Mom If… […]

  • I love this list!! I especially love #11! It is so true! Why don’t dads think to take more of the pictures?

  • I love that I can relate to most of these!!

  • […] You Know You’re a Mom If… […]

  • Trisha

    Love the list! So true!:-)
    Also, You know you’re a mom if you put your arm in front of the person next to you in a car when you stop at a red light. I did this to my boss once when I was driving us to lunch.:-)