How are you doing with the 30 Days of Change Parenting Challenge?
We were hit with what can only be described as the pre-school plague this week, which meant that the kids and I spent an entire day alone together for the first time in a very long time. That gave us the opportunity to cuddle together and watch a movie – completely free of other distractions – and tissues and all, it is a day I will treasure. We have also been reading more books, taking more time to talk to the kids on their level, and one that I am absolutely loving is saying yes to my son when my first instinct is to say no.
Noah loves to dial the phone. I hate when Noah dials the phone. Generally I decide to call my parents on a quick impulse and with one goal in mind – make use of a short period of time to say hi and allow the kids to talk to Gram and Pap. When Noah decides he wants to dial, that means that the five minutes I had will now be up by the time we hit “Talk.” Noah likes to try to remember their number on his own. He likes to press the numbers himself even though he’s three and occasionally still confuses the 7 and the 4. This all means that before we can actually dial my parents, I need to go back and remove the 7’s and give him a second chance to find the 4.
I have ADD. This is mind-numbing for me…
But I’ve been saying yes.
The neat result of saying yes when you want to say no is that your child is instantly happier and you also discover that the negative event you anticipated wasn’t so bad after all!
What else have I been working on? How about that yelling thing…
Earlier this week I wanted my son to try to use the bathroom before we headed out to pick up my daughter. This is a daily battle because it’s his body and he wants to go when he wants to go. I get that. I also get that if we don’t leave on time, my daughter throws a six year old girl fit, which involves quite a lot of eye-rolling. I also get that about the time we step back out of the school and into the cold air, Noah’s body will tell him that now, in fact, is the right time to go to the bathroom.
Our bathroom battles involve screaming (me), then crying (him), then bribery of some type. No, I’m not applying for mom of the year.
This past week I tried to whisper every time I wanted to scream. Do you know what I ended up doing? Whispering, “Please, Noah, please just try to go potty before we leave,” then banging something very, very loud. My favorite was when I banged the door into the tile wall. Secretly I wanted the tile or the door to break because they’re both very ugly, but I had to get the scream out and that was the best way I could do it.
Noah was pretty amused by this. He held his hands over his ears then gave me one of those grins that makes about thirty dimples pop out and his blue eyes sparkle.
Dimples and all, I still think that that parenting challenge day was a huge, colossal fail for me.
So tell me…how are you doing?