Taking a Stance

As most of you know, I don’t only write for my own site, Resourceful Mommy, but for a variety of sites and brands around the web.  Recently I learned with some disappointment that my writing was no longer a fit for one of the sites.  The nerd girl in me struggled with this.  I’m one of those people who needs to be good at everything I do.  This, by the way, is why I don’t play volleyball.  It doesn’t end well for anyone, and I don’t look good in those tiny, little shorts.  I also don’t deal well with rejection.  I’m not sure that anyone likes rejection, but the overachiever in me will tell you that I’m great at overreacting to rejection.  That’s right. I overreact better than most people.

I wanted to know more about why I was no longer a fit.  Was my writing lacking? How could I improve?  What were my shortcomings?

While this isn’t the only point that was made, one thing that they told me was that they needed people who would be willing and able to write about anything, who wouldn’t say that they weren’t comfortable with something, who wouldn’t be afraid to take a stance.  They told me that they know I couldn’t write about certain things because of my brand and my business.

Let the record show that I have no problem writing about personal topics, saying things that make people angry, or even biting the hand that feeds me if there’s something that I feel needs to be said. I also have no desire to work with a client now or ever who believes that they can quiet my voice or ask me to lie about how I feel.  I’ve always been an outspoken person – I believe my dad called it being loud – and I’d rather never cash another check than be silenced at this stage of the game after 34 years of pissing people off.

I wanted a specific example.  When had I cowered and refused to write about a topic? Me, the woman who publicly called her husband out for buying her lingerie for her birthday?  Really?

I was told that I refused to write about gay marriage.  This cannot be true because I’m a strong proponent of gay marriage, or as I like to call it, marriage.  I’m pretty sure that the union between two committed people doesn’t have a sexuality, and I’m also sure that sexuality has nothing to do with the basic rights of people.

So what did I refuse to write about one time that sent the signal that I’m not willing to write about anything without holding back?  I refused to write about the sexuality of my four year old son.  That’s right.  I refused to sit down and type 400 to 500 words about the sexuality of my precious child, covering if I would throw him out of the house, if I would still love him, or if I would support him. I refused to subject my child who is still so young that he doesn’t even understand gender constructs fully – nor should he – to any future, hypothetical prejudices.  I refused to address whether or not any members of my Christian family or even my own church would believe his soul to be damned to hell.  I refused to publicly declare how I would treat my son based on his sexuality for the sake of what….traffic? Sensationalism?

I have no problem putting myself out there. I’ve talked to you about my health, my weight, my hopes, my fears, and yes, even struggles with my children.  But I drew the line at discussing something so precious and not mine as my pre-schooler’s future sexuality.

Oh look at that.  I guess it turns out that I can take a stance on sensitive topics after all.


  1. […] Taking a Stance by Amy Lubold Bair of Resourceful Mommy […]

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